Archive for March, 2009
Friday, March 27th, 2009
Thinking you are a bad person for saying no is a symptom of “the disease to please.” “Saying yes when you need to say no causes burnout. Here’s how to do the right thing — for yourself and others — in 10 common scenarios where you know that opting out is your best option. Don’t feel guilty. Just take these tips from experts on etiquette and communication — and a cue from your favorite two-year-old — and say no.
Saying No for the Sake of Your Wallet
Request: A friend in need asks for a Trump-worthy loan.
What you should say: “I wish I could, but as a rule, I don’t lend money to friends.”
Why it works: It’s clear that you are not singling out this person as untrustworthy.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: Lending any amount of money can cause problems, says communications trainer Don Gabor. “It can change the nature of your relationship if the person doesn’t pay you back.”
How to avoid the situation in the future: Never lend money to friends and you won’t get a reputation as a walking, breathing ATM.
Request: A coworker wants you to chip in $25 for a gift for a colleague you wouldn’t recognize at the watercooler.
What you should say: “Oh, I’ve never really had a conversation with Sam. I think I’ll just wish him a happy birthday in person.”
Why it works: Chances are, the person taking donations has no idea how close you are (or are not) with the intended recipient. By clarifying the nature of your relationship — and emphasizing your intention to get to know the person better — you come across as thoughtful rather than cheap.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: “A gift isn’t a gift if it’s an obligation,” say etiquette writers Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh.
How to avoid the situation in the future: If workplace gift giving is getting out of hand, take the lead in restoring sanity by circulating a card before someone can break out the gift-donation plate. Make sure others know you don’t expect anything on your birthday.
Request: Your third cousin asks to bring her boyfriend-of-the-month to your $150-a-plate wedding reception.
What you should say: “We’ve already had to make so many tough decisions to get the guest list down to size. We really can’t squeeze in/afford another guest. But I would love to have you two over for drinks sometime so I can meet him.”
Why it works: If you illuminate some of your behind-the-scenes planning, your cousin may get a clue about the inappropriateness of the request.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: It’s your party and your pocketbook, says author Patti Breitman.
How to avoid the situation in the future: Make a few calls before you put together the guest list to see if there are new additions you should consider as you plan.
Saying No for the Sake of Your Time
Request: You are offered a promotion that you don’t want. Even though it means more money, it demands more hours and more of what your boss calls responsibility and you call tedium.
What you should say: “I’m flattered that you want me, but for personal reasons I’m not in a situation where I can take this on. Perhaps in a year from now things will be different. Can we talk again if my circumstances change?”
Why it works: If you’re caught in this enviable dilemma, your boss will understand you have personal priorities that take precedence.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: By saying no to more time at the office, you’re saying yes to other things you cherish, be they long walks alone at sunset or evening time with your children.
How to avoid the situation in the future: “If a position opens up at your workplace, you could let it be known that you are not in the running,” Breitman suggests. Being forthright saves your manager the trouble of pursuing a candidate who isn’t interested.
Request: You are asked to coordinate the bake sale — again — at your child’s school.
What you should say: “I know I’m going to disappoint you, but I’ve decided not to volunteer this year, because I fear I’ll end up feeling resentful. Is there any way to get some of the other parents to step up?”
Why it works: Often people feel manipulated into doing something (”The ice cream social just won’t happen without your help!”). If you can address the problematic pattern of one person’s doing all the work, you sidestep the manipulation. And if you say no, it might force others (who never get asked) to say yes.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: “You’ve done your fair share, and now others can do this job,” says Robinson.
How to avoid the situation in the future: “Encourage school leaders to present the problem to all the parents,” says Robinson. “If people know an important program may fail, they’ll usually remedy the situation.”
Request: You’re invited to a distant relative’s annual Lobster Luau — for the 14th year in a row.
What you should say: “I’ve really had fun in the past, but I can’t make it this year. That week is already packed for me.”
Why it works: “You’ve explained it in a way that doesn’t sound like a personal rejection,” says Robinson. “And you’ve asked for understanding, based on your need to take stress out of your schedule. Everyone can identify with that.”
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: You have only so much free time — and so much tolerance for flying lobster goo. “Don’t R.S.V.P. yes, then back out at the last minute or, worse, not show up at all,” say Izzo and Marsh. “That is the least decorous way of handling the invite.”
How to avoid the situation in the future: In a note, thank the relative for thinking of you and explain that because you tend to be busy at this time of year, he should feel free to take you off his invite list.
Request: Your boss asks you to supervise this season’s intern — last seen with her feet up on a desk, iPod on, Gameboy in hand.
What you should say: “Wow, that’s an interesting project. I’m really busy with the ABC assignment right now, so let me know if you want me to re-prioritize.”
Why it works: “Asking your boss to prioritize tasks for you means you don’t have to actually say the no word,” Breitman says. If she tells you to just squeeze the new task in, then do it. But keep a list of all the extra work you’ve done — for your next review.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: You really do have enough work to do as it is.
How to avoid the situation in the future: If extra tasks keep getting dumped on your desk, ask your boss for a meeting. Explain that the added assignments are making it hard to do your primary job properly. Ask if she wants to review your job description (and renegotiate your salary while she’s at it).
Saying No for the Sake of Your Sanity
Request: A friend asks to borrow your car (because hers is in the shop to repair the dent she got while driving, talking on her cell phone, and unwrapping her kid’s juice-box straw).
What you should say: “I don’t lend anything worth more than $1,000.” Try to avoid the old “I don’t have insurance for a non-family member” excuse — most insurance policies cover the car, not specific drivers. (If your friend got into an accident, it could make your premium go up, though.) If you have time, offer her a ride instead.
Why it works: “It puts the blame on you,” explains author Patti Breitman. “Just don’t indicate you don’t trust the friend.”
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: “Your car is probably the first or second most valuable thing you own,” says Breitman. “You’re protecting a big financial asset.” Plus, if your friend were to get into an accident, your relationship might be totaled, too.
How to avoid the situation in the future: Let your friends know that while you’re typically a generous lender (”Of course you can borrow my snorkeling gear!”), your car is off-limits.
Request: A guest offers to bring her seven-layer dip to your party. It doesn’t really go with the Greek theme you have planned.
What you should say: “What a kind offer — thank you. I have already planned the menu, but do you have any dietary restrictions I should know about?” If she’s just asking to be nice and insists on bringing something, suggest a bottle of wine or a loaf of bread.
Why it works: By acknowledging the generosity of the offer, you let that person know she did all she could. Of course, if the person has dietary restrictions that make cooking difficult for you, relent and let her bring a dish she can eat.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: The person is most likely offering just to be courteous. By saying no, you give her license to relax and enjoy your hospitality.
How to avoid the situation in the future: When you invite people, ask if there is anything they don’t eat, because you want to make sure your menu works for everyone. Emphasize the word menu, so people know that you have a plan or a theme for the meal (and so they won’t try to upset it).
Request: Your future sister-in-law wants to throw you a shower, but you don’t want the fuss.
What you should say: “I really don’t want a party, but thank you so much for offering. Why don’t we splurge on a visit to a day spa instead?”
Why it works: “Not everyone likes a party in her honor or wants to be the center of attention with a paper plate of bows on her head,” say etiquette writers Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh. Unless she has her own agenda, she should understand.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: “If you decline, you are taking away some pleasure from the people who care about you, but it is your occasion to shout about or be quiet about,” say Izzo and Marsh.
How to avoid the situation in the future: Announce what you would prefer to do instead of a shower before anyone offers to throw one.
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Thursday, March 26th, 2009
Even in the best of times, card companies are always looking for ways to make money off of us. With credit markets so unpredictable nowadays, they are not above using underhanded tricks and unsavory techniques in order to squeeze out every last dollar. Because of the increasing number of credit card defaults, banks are passing the losses off to their customers in the form of hidden charges, new rules, and outrageous fees. Knowing what kind of tricks to watch for can help ensure that your own wallet doesn’t get taken for a ride.
1. Unexpectedly Raising Your Interest Rate
According to most cards’ terms of service, the lender can raise your interest rate any time they want, especially if you have a high balance or your credit score drops. Credit card companies use information from all parts of your credit report to determine the rate they charge you, including your housing history and your records with other lenders. That means that if you get a few months behind on Card A, Card B will raise your interest rate, even if you’ve been paying them on time. Basically, they’re just looking for any excuse to charge you more money, and if you have even one delinquent account, all of your creditors can (and probably will) raise your interest rate.
2. Changing Your Payment’s Due Date
It’s hard to plan your monthly finances when your credit card payment is due on a different date each month and credit card companies count on this confusion. Sometimes it’s due the 4th, sometimes it’s as late as the 8th, and customers are stuck with a late fee every time their payment doesn’t make it on time, even if the due date falls on a weekend. And whether your payment is late by a few hours or a few weeks, the charge is the same. This tactic has become even more widespread now that more and more people use online banking and automatic payment services.
2. Lowering Your Credit Limit
Just because your card originally had a $5,000 limit doesn’t mean it always will and now more than ever, companies are re-evaluating how much credit they’re extending. Arbitrarily decreasing available credit doesn’t only affect your ability to make purchases, it can also negatively impact your credit score by making your cards appear to be maxed out. Credit companies have even been known to lower credit limits beneath a customer’s current balance, which triggers overdraft charges. Then once your credit score falls, they can raise your interest rate.
4. Selling You Fraud Protection
Think your bank is just looking out for you when it offers you its credit monitoring or fraud watch service? Think again. Credit card customers are never liable for more than $50 of any fraudulent transaction, so it’s okay to decline any additional coverage they might try to sell you. Fraud protection is part of every basic credit card agreement, and no matter how hard they try to scare you into buying it, it’s not worth paying an extra yearly fee for.
5. Cascading Fees
Credit card companies charge fees whenever a customer breaks the terms of service (like paying late or charging over the limit), but the rules are cleverly designed so that breaking just one sets off a cascade of other fees and penalties. Going over your account limit results in a penalty for every month you’re over, even if the bank lowered your limit in the first place. Or if you’ve racked up late payment fees, the card company may take the opportunity to raise your interest rate. As with many items on your credit card’s terms of service, breaking one rule can affect your account in multiple ways.
Whenever a card company changes its terms of service, they’re required to notify you in writing, so don’t throw away any mail from your credit card company without reading it. Those densely-written booklets packed with confusing credit jargon aren’t just junk; they’re the company’s way of informing you of the changes they’re making to your account. The best way you can protect yourself from sneaky tricks is to stay on top of your credit, because banks do their best to keep customers in the dark. Keep track of your interest rates and balances so that when changes happen, you’ll notice them right away.
If you see that your company is trying to pull a fast one on you, you can call customer service and voice your protest. They are often willing to negotiate with customers in good standing, so if you’re current on your account, politely ask them to refund the fee or reverse the change in terms, all the while reminding them of what a good customer you’ve been.
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Wednesday, March 25th, 2009
1. A lower mortgage rate
It used to be all but impossible to refinance if your equity stake was less than 20% of your home’s current value. Now you may be eligible for a refi even if you owe as much as 105% of what the house is worth. To qualify, you must have a loan balance of no more than $417,000 (unless you live in a high-cost area).
2. An insurance safety net
Normally if you lose your job, you’ll have to foot the bill to keep your former employer’s health insurance coverage. Now the government will pay as much as 65% of the monthly premium for up to nine months for most people who have lost a job since Sept. 1, 2008 (the break phases out for couples who earn more than $250,000).
3. An incentive for new wheels
If you buy a new car, SUV, or motorcycle in 2009, you may be able to deduct the state and local sales and excise taxes you pay (couples with an adjusted gross income under $260,000 are eligible). State sales taxes average about 6%, so on a $30,000 car you could write off $1,800, plus any county or local sales taxes.
In some cases you will be affected and others you may not. However, it looks like you may have to spend money to make money. Since so many of us have been laid off, then it’s good to know about the health insurance option.
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Monday, March 23rd, 2009
One of the more common fears among homeowners facing foreclosure is that the bank will suddenly start garnishing their wages in order to pay back the loan. With how far behind some homeowners fall, this fear can result in the anticipation of their not having enough money to pay the bills, keep the lights on, or feed their children. Especially if the income situation has deteriorated quite a bit, there may just not be enough money to pay the mortgage at this point.
However, the good news is that banks can not garnish a homeowner’s wages during the foreclosure process. The very simple reason for this is that the real estate is collateral for the loan — no other assets or future income source is pledged. If a car loan goes into default, the car is repossessed first; same with a mortgage in default: the bank can only take back the collateral that is pledged on the loan and there is no recourse to any other asset or income source.
Thus, the bank will have to take the property all the way through the foreclosure and have the court order it to be sold at a county sheriff sale. This auction is the legal mechanism by which the bank is allowed to attempt to recover the amount it is owed on the loan. If the sheriff sale pays off the mortgage in full, there is nothing further to collect.
If the property does not sell for enough to pay the loan off completely, some states allow mortgage companies to sue for a deficiency judgment after the foreclosure. Again, not all states allow this under the foreclosure laws, but it would give banks the right to garnish wages after the foreclosure, if they decide to sue for the judgment. But again, this comes only after the sheriff sale, and there would be no wage garnishment during the foreclosure process itself.
Banks rarely, if ever, sue former clients for deficiency judgments, though, because they know foreclosure victims do not have a lot of extra cash to pay down another judgment after losing their homes. It would take the bank too much time and money to sue again, when they did not collect very much on their original foreclosure lawsuit.
Lenders, of course, do nothing to dissuade homeowners from having the fear of wage garnishment. In fact, being sued after foreclosure, and the threat of losing their job, income, or other assets is often used by customer service representatives of mortgage companies to compel homeowners to keep making payments, even if they can not afford to do so. But foreclosure victims do not have to fear that the bank will come after their income during the foreclosure, and will not have to worry about the possibility even after losing the home.
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Tuesday, March 10th, 2009
If you are falling behind on your mortgage payments, do not hide from your lender. Instead, reach out to them for assistance. Your mortgage company would rather work with you than commence foreclosure proceedings, which can be quite costly for them.
Negotiating a Loan Modification
Step1
Make sure to know the state of your finances before contacting your lender. Determine how much income you’re bringing in each month, how much you’re paying in bills and where you can cut costs. Ask a nonprofit counseling service to help you put together this financial analysis for free. The counselor will also help to negotiate with your lender. Consumer Credit Counseling is a good place to start.
Step2
Next, contact your lender and have an idea what you need. Tell them what your situation is and what you can offer to help your situation.
Step3
Come up with some kind of an answer to the lender’s question of how you propose to pay off the loan eventually. You’re better off submitting an initial proposal. At least you’ve opened the door in the negotiation
Step4
If you think that your financial strain won’t last long, ask the lender for forbearance, or postponement of payments, for a couple of months until your finances recover.
Step5
If you have an adjustable rate mortgage that reset and you cannot meet the higher monthly payments, request a loan modification from the lender. They will request a complete financial history from you, detailing your income and monthly expenses. Ideally, you should have some cushion in your income to justify a loan modification, if they switched your mortgage to a fixed-rate mortgage. Show them that you can comfortably pay a fixed rate mortgage through extra income from a second job, and you are more likely to get a modification.
- If you are strapped for cash, find a part-time job;
- Call your lender as soon as you discover you will experience some hardship in making your monthly payments.
- Once you have received a modification, make your payments on time to improve your credit.
- If your credit is shaky, do some rebuilding before you refinance your loan.
- If your loan is modified, your interest rate may be a little higher due to your shaky credit.
Posted in Generate income, Informational, Personal debt | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009
In light of our strained economy, how can you keep your love life intact and still scale back on spending?
Remember that money isn’t everything. The most important thing is that you’re together.
Whether playing the field or in a couple, there are a number of free (or cheap) ways to mind your wallet without sacrificing your dating life. After all, a recession won’t keep you from finding love, it’ll just make you more creative!
For those playing the field
1. Dinner and a movie DIY-style: Instead of going to a restaurant and theater, grab a Netflix and cook your date dinner.
2. Have a picnic: Grab a picnic basket with some home-made goodies, a comfy blanket and spend a romantic day in the park.
3. Free wine-tasting: Most wine shops feature free promotional wine-tasting events, a perfect (and educational) date!
4. Your own personal sunset: Take a stroll and let the sunset be the destination for your date — pretty and, more importantly, free!
5. Get sporty!: How about getting a little down and dirty with your date? No, not that way — participate in a local or city-wide recreational sporting event: how about a game of ultimate Frisbee or touch football?
6. Free culture: Most art galleries and/or museums that normally charge entry fees, usually have at least one “free night” a week — take advantage!
For couples
1. Lather up!: Light a few candles, maybe turn on your favorite music and take a romantic bubble bath together.
2. Eat in, but make it fun: Instead of spending cash on eating out, cook at home together — try new recipes and new foods — for cheap!
3. See the sites: No matter what city, most residents rarely do the typical “tourist activities.” Why not take the opportunity to do some local site-seeing —- most tourist attractions are relatively cheap and monuments or scenic sites are usually free (and only cost a guidebook!)
4. Volunteer together: Nothing’s sexier than doing good.
5. Take in some flea market finds: Peruse local flea markets/garage sales with your significant other — if you do buy something you know it will be cheap and even if you don’t, flea markets are always a fun excursion.
6. Start a photo blog: Why not create something with your partner? Spend some time out and about taking photos. You can even start a photo blog that your friends and family can follow and you can update together. It’s free and you’ll always have something cool to look back on!
And remember that money isn’t everything. The most important thing is that you’re together and you’re having a good time. If your date doesn’t appreciate spending time with you without spending a lot of cash, then you probably shouldn’t be with her/him.
Regardless of your funds, each of these ideas can be an exciting change of pace. You may be feeling financial strain — but you don’t have to feel it alone!
Posted in Informational, purchases | No Comments »
